Well, another night, another post, and voila! The contest results are in! Now, I could give it a couple more days, and you know, sort through the vast number of entries which have been overflowing from the Editorial In-Box, but as Tifanie and Ideasculptor stepped right up to the plate and solved the naming problem . . . here are the finalized names:
The dashing hero shall now and forevermore be called only James Cheshire.
The petty, sneering sister-in-law is now officially Kimberly Cumberland.
And the evil, conniving, extremely well-endowed-in-the-bust ex goes by the undeniably wicked-sounding name of Aevelyn Miltford.
Some modifications were made, admittedly, to the original entries, but they're winners nonetheless. Sorry, Tifanie, no one can have the last name Cummings. It just suggests porn a little too vividly. Perhaps I'll use it for my zombie romance novel; it can be the last name of Zombio's love interest. And Ideasculptor's entry of the first name Digby . . . well, my friend the author will certainly attempt to find a place for that name, because it's too damn funny. We're thinking perhaps the weasely little non-love interest, who attempts to feel up the heroine at a garden party when no one's looking.
Tifanie's prize, for providing so much useful nomenclature, is a year's supply of new Super LerXOff, a dermatologist recommended liaox-entity repellent. (This site is sponsored by LerXOff Inc. Offer not valid in the Blaglorbian solar system. Not packaged for individual sale.)
Ideasculptor wins the runner-up prize: I'm not going to give Cologne his home address! (I failed to mention that this would be the anti-prize, for really bad entries. Funny, should have made that clear.) But because I like Ideasculptor so much, he will also receive one bottle of Super LerXOff, and the great pleasure of knowing that his entry inspired a whole new "plot" twist. (These things don't really have much plot, you know.)
And, one final announcement. Since the rest of the Overground research staff failed so signally to contribute anything useful to the search for names, they will all be thrown to the zombies. No, I'm sorry, the decision is final. You know who you are. So if anyone's looking for an unpaid internship in the lab, please post a comment here, as there are six openings as of ten minutes from now, when I will carry out my implacable revenge.
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2 comments:
...a bit flush and perhaps embarassed by the display, she stepped through one of the open glass doors and stood, heaving her bosom in the court yard.
"Nice toss, my lady," the porter remarked. And then he turned away from her, for he had to concentrate on his... portering.
Thank you, Mike M., for that instructive digression. The pun was good, we like that. You are now officially hired for the research staff . . . just don't fuck up, the zombies are always hungry.
Thanks for dropping by!
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