AA can't save people; only Jesus can.

Amen, brother. Hallelujah. And thanks for the fucking newsflash, Sherlock cocksucking Holmes. The thought above is brought to you courtesy of one of the many brilliant pages littering the blogscape, and I'm not even going to post a link to it because it's so lame. It's about someone who's very Christian and hangs out in jails trying to bring comfort to inmates. Sounds like a good time, doesn't it? Almost as exciting as Howie, though I will admit that Christian guy knows how to spell, if nothing else. Credit where credit is due. Do you think Jesus gave him power over the rules of grammar? Or is that more of a Holy Spirit kind of thing? I need to learn more about Christianity, I mean, I've read the Bible and all, but it just doesn't answer truly important questions like that one.

Do check out this site, though. This person apparently lives under an end table. Does anyone have a different interpretation of this?

Here is the current contender for "Least Likely to Succeed as a Species Variation". Then again, she probably fucks more than most of my entire city combined. Makes you really appreciate Planned Parenthood, don't it?

And for anyone who's ever wanted to explore the seedy underbelly of the wild and crazy antics of Christian college students, now's your chance. I recommend about a teener of really good glass, because otherwise you'll fall asleep before the page even loads.

That concludes tonight's episode of "Behind the Blogs: the Man, the Mystery, and the Pointless Bullshit That Random Idiots Think is Interesting for Some Unknown Reason". Tune in next time for more entirely irrelevant links to things that no one, least of all the Editor, actually cares about.

Two last notes, just in case anyone read this far: the zombies are doing better, after their recent bout with alcoholism. AA didn't save them, though, Jesus did. And just for you, my dear, you know who you are, a link to the masterminds behind a certain piece of soiled weather which shall not be named at this time. Please note the availability of an upcoming album for preorder! Get it EVEN SOONER than if you ran to the store and pressed your eager little nose against the window of the Wherehouse early in the morning of the big day!

It's Like a Bloodstained Hurricane

What, precisely, is very much like a "bloodstained hurricane"? Pretty much everything, it turns right out. What cannot be compared to a bloodstained hurricane? Certainly not the Editor.