Pinky, Where the Hell's the Brain: More "Best of Blog 2005" Awards

News-flash update! The Editor is often careless about bookmarking sites; I have been kicking myself for not saving the address of our alien friend, who communicates with bobble-head Jesus dolls, according to my recently fired sub-editor. Well, cry no more! The person responsible for this atrocity, Pinky, aka Julia, has been identified! If you're in search of pain and suffering, look no further: the full adventures and provenance of Lerx and Liaox are now available for viewing, absolutely free! (Of course, if you would like to contribute to the Editor's noble research, the bank account's always got room for more, especially since it's almost empty. And my pycologist really deserves a raise.)

Now, for those of you who enjoy sneering at pop culture, let me direct your attention to two sarcastic, witty women with a very well-ground axe. The Editor was amazed by their collection of possibly the most deplorable fashion moments in recent history. Light entertainment, to be sure, but very much worth a look.

I passed over a site which took far too long to load (the Editor's broadband has been delayed; the local cable company's name is not spelled, but is in fact pronounced, "Cocks", which I think sums it up pretty well) but I did read the introduction, which seemed to refer to the author of the page: "The poetic angel lives on." Oh, my mistake, I was fool enough to believe the wild rumors. You mean, the poetic angel didn't really die in that dramatic snowmobile accident? Shocking! And it'd been whispered in my ear by an inside source that the poetic angel had been devoured by a rampaging herd of rabid wildebeests recently, while on an extended poetic angel safari. What a relief to know that the poetic angel survived its multiple brushes with death. Let me say it one more time. The poetic angel.

On a different note, and this is pure Editorial, "kristallnacht" strikes me as a tasteless blog title, the fact that the site has nothing to do with Nazism notwithstanding. Wait, the site's not related to the Third Reich . . . at all? All right, then six out of ten for tasteless, 17 million out of ten for pointless. Friggin' moron.

And this just in: a bulletin for Pinky: I have found your new best frenz, if not your brain.

why have tings become lyk tt...y?? we hv been gd frens for the past yrs but now...y? u hv changed,u R no longer e one i used to be with. not the one i used to laugh with. not the one i used to joke with. not the one i used to play with. not the one i used to smile to. not to one i used to talk to. not the one i used to chat to. not the one i used to gossip with. not the one i used to go for break with. not the one i used to call to. not the one i used to find familar with. not the one i trusted with. not the one i confide with. not the one i could cry with. not the one that had been in my good memories with.

I think this one is from the planet Earth, but may be receiving telepathic communications from a far-off galaxy. For thousands of years (or so I presume; the Editor is not in fact thousands of years old, yet) humans have speculated as to the existence of something else out there, something mysterious, advanced, and meaningful - this was usually classified under the general heading of God. For at least the last century, humans have become increasingly obsessed with the idea of little green men. (The Editor will not here expound multiple theories as to the correlation of the rise of atheism and concurrent rise in paranormal investigation and interest, but be aware that such theories do exist, at least, they will once I expound them someday.) At any rate, the common thread of all such speculation is that this "something else", be it gods, God, demons, ghosts, aliens, or the Yeti, will in some way be more advanced than humanity, with unique and possibly incomprehensible wisdom to offer. We are disappointed to learn that the aliens, at least, have ONLY incomprehensibility to offer, and some very bad spelling. What a great anticlimax it is, to be sure.

I mean, can anyone reading this honestly think for an instant that Lerx and Liaox would be able to pilot a technologically advanced flying saucer for more than ten seconds before crashing it into a telephone pole? I'd maybe give 7-2 odds on two minutes on a tricycle, if their planet has no telephone poles.