Well, thank you, thank you . . . I know it's been a while, I'll have to wait for the frenzied cheering to die down before really beginning my post . . . anyway, by popular demand, the Editor has taken a few moments from the ever-absorbing laboratory (I need a new batch of expert assistants, by the way, some more have been eaten) to post a few words.
So. My attention has been drawn to an individual named Howie. Might I add, my unfavorable attention. In lieu of sending a cadre of zombies to his no doubt pitiful, filty, and louse-infested abode (because after all, even zombies have standards, for god's sake), let us examine a specimen of his prose. It's slightly less grotesque than your average stool sample, but only very slightly - don your Hazmat suits please, or at least some goggles and dish gloves. It's really too bad that anyone who is able to read Howie's words of wisdom are already too intellectually advanced to profit from them. I wonder, has he tried reading his posts aloud to the local home for developmentally disabled children? They might enjoy them, or they might at least derive some amusement from vomiting upon him. As would we all, I might add. However. To the point.
Here is a recent posting from Howie's page:
I am not a so-called «bot» and I am not stupid. I am an education major at Princeton University and you do not get into an Ivy League school by being stupid. My GPA is a steady 3.8. I wish to educate those who I feel are uninformed, and I have been vilified. I feel that once you open your mind, you will feel that there is a progressive answer to today's issues. You have to open your mind not keep it narrow. I am messenger for progressive change. My views are shared by many people.
So, let us take this one little baby-logic-step at a time. After all, the Great Howie, Educator of all he Surveys, may deign to stop in himself at some point, and I do so want him to be able to follow along. The rest of you, who are in all likelihood able to construct a paragraph, please be patient as I lower my Editorial style to a sufficient depth.
We can leave to the side the first sentence, since statement one is patently irrelevant, and the second, open to a longer debate than I, at least, happen to have time for. The fact that he is an Education major at Princeton is quite possibly true; it is unlikely that anyone, were they to invent a provenance for themselves, would choose something so ineffably dull.
Now, it seems that my supper is ready, but I would like to point out to you, oh Howie the Infinitely Educated, that George W. Bush, whom you deride continually, if without wit, is himself a graduate of an Ivy League school. Whilst I'm away having a peaceful dinner, please do decide between these options: a) G.W. Bush is actually intelligent; or b) you may or may not in fact possess the intelligence of an average sized tapeworm. I'll be looking forward to hearing your commentary on the topic, when I get back . . . and I will be back.
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3 comments:
It is about time. Perhaps I failed to explain that a prerequisite for receiving good deals on castoff hardware is a new blog posting at least once per week. Thanks for pointing out the Ivy-League/Bush dichotomy. That one hadn't occured to me.
Amusing. But isn't hooey just a little too easy a subject for dissection? I have been guilty of so doing myself, and sometimes feel a pang of regret...for maybe a few nanoseconds.
"I have been guilty of so doing myself"
Indeed. I had wondered why you took a break. I thought maybe you had copped on and found some sensible (even uncommonly sensible) things to do.
Apparently not.
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