My Mommy Is Ugly and Needs a Boob Job

A few posts ago, I found one potential sign that the Apocalypse is truly on its way - NASCAR themed Harlequin romances. (Just a quick note on that topic - a young lady friend of the Editor's saw one of these abominations on a used bookstore shelf, picked it up out of morbid curiosity, and reported to me that yes, it is just as classy as one might expect.)

And now, yea, I have seen the second sign, Hallelujah.

Some freak plastic surgeon decided that the big problem with cosmetic surgery in the United States is not the fact that it's dangerous, expensive, overused, and generally similar to Medieval torture except that you pay a lot for it (the Inquisition did it for free, at least). No, the issue really is that children are confused by the fact that their mommies go in to the doctor's office just fine and looking like they always do, and come out groggy, covered in bandages, and then - looking completely different.

FYI, Dr. Michael Salzhauer doesn't think that the best solution to this problem is, I don't know, getting less plastic surgery? No. The solution is to write a picture book explaining how Mommy's just fine, and once the bandages come off - she'll be pretty!

I shit you not. Of course, aside from the profit Dr. Wackjob is making from his wonderful book, he is doubtless hoping for a new generation of business from children who have been convinced along the way that no one is really pretty until they've had their nose broken, shaved, and molded. You can read an excerpt of the book here.